Take it or Leave it

“You’re thinking too much,” said Jake.

“No, I wasn't thinking enough,” I disagreed.

Now I know what you mean, folks. I’m thinking too much on things that I needn't think that much. Why tried to plan everything? I was simply too paranoid at pursuing perfect. Just let it flow!

        But to be honest, I don’t understand why it is so hard to make my plan works. I didn't ask much. All I want is to go to a club, dance, have fun, or just go to a nice bar and hang out with my friends. Why can’t I have it?

        Perhaps God meant to keep me from it. If I go out with friends every weekend, when do I get to work? If I become used to partying, clubbing, I waste way too much money and time on it, and probably ruin my health as well. Alcohol, staying up, go to MacDonald at 1 a.m, etc. All my friends in Taiwan are surprised that I want to go to parties. I was never like that back at home. I guess I am different here. “When you go to Rome, do what Romans do.” As an 8 month resident here, I have double identities of both traveler and resident. Sometimes I feel like I am so used to the life here and not missing home at all whereas sometimes I jump out of my life and start to evaluate everything from a Taiwanese standard (which make me feel poor and make a lot of things stupid :P)

        Through all these annoying experience, I realized that I am really not a submitting sheep. I am never good at just following others because I know what I want to do and I don’t see why I should sacrifice myself. All I need to do is to be braver and more direct about what I want, instead of blindly following others, especially when others actually have no clue what they are doing. I shouldn’t be afraid to lead others just for the sake of saving troubles and relieving pressure from myself. Because every time I want to go lazy, people either are clueless or not really take my will into consideration. I am always too caring and feeling obliged to make everyone in a group happy so I consider others more than myself. But the truth is, it’s not my responsibility at all! If they don’t like it, they should say it. And if what I suggest is not good, it’s not my fault either since I can’t predict it. After all, I am not a tour guide who is paid to entertain people. I’m just me, and I want to have fun in my own way. Take it, or leave it.

Why my Halloween sucks?

        I bet there are few people like me who had been fooled by God so many times for this Halloween. Seriously, I felt like it’s a Fool’s Day for me. And I had no idea why I got pranked again and again. This is not fun at all!

        So what exactly happened? Well, from early October, people started to talk about Halloween parties and tickets are selling out pretty soon. But most of my friends are not sure what they will do at that time. So I wasn’t dare to buy tickets for any party. And all of a sudden, almost all the party tickets are sold out, and you can imagine, I am the lucky person who has no ticket. What should I do then? Of course I asked around, and just when my friend found me ticket, I realized I made a serious mistake. I went to renew my passport and I could only get it back until Nov 12. And god bless me, I have no other governmental ID, no National ID (I left it in Taiwan for fear that I lose it here), no driving license( How I wish I know how to drive!), no BC ID (because I haven’t got my MSP), so I only had a photocopy of my passport, my UBC student card and an useless International Student Card.

        In Canada, if you are under 19, you can’t get a drink in bars or liquor store, not to mention getting into a club. So I couldn’t even go to any place with my friends, except house parties. And my friend invited me to one, but told me a day before Halloween that it got cancelled. Well then, I thought I would chill and just go to a UBC Improv show, but then my friend who was supposed to go with me had urgency back home to deal with. Ok, fine, I posted on the exchange student group to ask if there is a house party I can go. And people did tell me. But the problem is I don’t the people who passed me the info. It felt awkward to go to a house party without knowing anyone. Well, you might say, you can bring your friends.

        Yes, I did try. But my roommates and their friends want to go to downtown first. And we randomly picked a bar in Gastown, which sucks. So I wanted to go to the house parties that people told me. But it was already past midnight and it seemed super awkward to walk in at that time, not to mention we weren’t really sure where the places were and it was chilly outside. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, at the same time, my cellphone wasn’t working well, I couldn’t even text people. (I hate BELL!!)

        So we just head back. Such a nice trip back and forth without really doing anything! It really wasn’t anyone’s fault. But I do hope I can be more certain and more direct about what I want. If I was clear that I wanted to go to house parties first, then things might be different. However, it was really hard to decide what to do when I had so little information and I was afraid that they would be disappointed if those parties are not good. I guess I just need to be a bit more selfish. Why do I need to care so much about how others feel and sacrifice what I want?

        You might wonder why I was so desperate to go to parties. Well, let me be clear, I am not a party animal, or you should say that I seldom go to parties. Every time people invite me to go clubbing, it happened to be the time I was too tired or needed to work the day after, so I had to say no. Or it might be that I wasn’t in the mood to party with people I wasn’t that fond of. And people who I get along with usually don’t party that much, so I don’t really get invited to parties. I am just not belonged to any group which parties.

        But I do want to go crazy once in a while. And Halloween seemed to be a very justified time and reason to do so. I hate to admit that I haven’t been to any club in Vancouver, or another embarrassing fact that I have never been drunk. These are just like the things I want to have experience, like once, and it’s enough. My question is: when do I get the chance? All I yearn for is to experience and then I can proudly say, “I have lived.”

        I guess the worst part of all the things is that I kept being failed. Every time I tried to plan something, it turned out to be different from what I expected. It’s fine when it happened once or twice, but when it continued to happen, I got really pissed. Being a Capricorn, I tend to make plans for everything, so I felt even more disappointed when I can’t control what will happen.

        I know I still have time, still have a lot of chance, but I just don’t want to wait. My another personality is being impatient. So yeah, that’s my Halloween. Nothing tragic, but just sucks. (Oh, did I tell you that I even made the tiara myself, which took me more than 2 hours? )

But to clarify, the day before Halloween was good, it’s the day of Halloween that sucks. I still enjoyed carving pumpkins and went to a haunted houseJ

Harvest time!--Apple Festival & Potluck 20141018

Simply amazed by the different layers of colors. I felt blessed that I can just pass by this scene in my campus. 

So, I was thinking I should start to write in English more since I really need to practice my writing, or else I wouldn’t improve much even though I study in Canada. And here I am, trying to use my limited vocabulary to describe those subtle feelings and transient thoughts. Hope I can still capture the maximum of my ideas and emotions.

[Apple Festival]

I like golden gala! No wonder the goddesses fought for itXD

Apple is not my favorite fruit, but apple pie has always been my favorite dessert. I suspect my love of apple pie is from MacDonald, but who cares? I just know I always fail to reject a just baked apple pie or apple crumble with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Life can’t be better with this unbeatable combination.  

Anyway, as I thought not many exchange students would be interested in this event since it’s very family-oriented, I only asked Ting if she wanted to come. Of course we two gobblers wouldn’t want to miss this event, so here we are! And as we imagined, we saw apple tart, apple tasting, caramel apple, apple chips and all kinds of apples to buy. I never knew the difference between apples for cooking and eating raw, but now I want to make apple jam by myself as well. Think about it, in cold and rainy Vancouver, what can be a better pastime than making apple jam in dorm?

I also had a great time enjoying the performance of UBC Acapella. They are pretty good, and watching them singing on stage made me want to join next term.


Isn't it a paradise for kids? I've always wanted to do it when I read picture books, but now I am too old.

Afterwards, we wondered in the botanical garden and accidentally strolled along half the route. I even went into a tree hole! Too bad that it’s not the hole Alice jumped in, or else I might be in wonderland now! But to be honest, my life here is pretty much like in wonderland. Every day I am challenged by new things and new ideas. And I was just like Alice, who thought herself has been educated well and always ready to be praised as a good girl, finding it surprising that people don’t react the way I expected. But still I will keep walking until I find my dream garden.

[Potluck]

Proud that my coconut curry is widely accepted by everyone. All I did was adding coconut milk in it and that makes everything differentXD

Recognized by two French girlsXD

I invited Gabby to come along and she taught me how to make the common Mexican starter, Quesadilla. I had a great time with her and I will definitely miss her after she goes back to Mexico. All my other theater junkie friends are staying for a term only, and who can I go to theater in next term?? I am also tempted to visit Mexico next June after I go to east coast:P

It is not a bad day, but i was just not that cheerful. Perhaps I am too used to spend time with someone, that it just felt awkward to not see him for a while. And I was therefore distracted from the present I was in and the people around me. Nevertheless, I am glad and thankful for what I had experienced today. It’s a common yet delightful Canadian day in autumn nonetheless!

台妹上菜 (20140930)

生活在外食選擇多元又便宜的公館，下廚對我而言從來都是多餘的。整棟女生宿舍也只有寥寥幾個電鍋、烤箱、微波爐，連瓦斯爐都沒有，完全勾引不起人煮飯的興致。但是來到溫哥華，如果不天天吃披薩，每餐少說都要台幣兩百元以上，而且可能還不怎麼樣，漢堡、壽司、Subway之類的，讓我只好從遠庖廚的君子變成開爐火的婆娘啦! 

食物於我們是如此的不可分割，即使遠在異鄉，適應了不同的學制、交通規則、氣候，還是不能沒有家鄉味。異國料理再好吃再新奇，似乎都只能當作嘗鮮，而不是真正生活裡填飽肚子跟靈魂的糧食。

以前總覺得下廚浪費時間，但是能夠拋開書本跟電腦，實際做出一道菜，其實賦予人極大的成就感。輕舀一匙油，灑點蒜頭爆香，放入碎肉跟洋蔥，當肉香跟洋蔥的辛香交錯跳動在鼻尖時，就彷彿回到桃園家裡的小廚房，跟媽媽並肩作菜的時光。不知為何，我極愛洋蔥，幾乎什麼料理都可以入菜，炒飯、炒麵、咖哩、沙拉，切洋蔥彷彿成了例行公事。(雖然常常切，還是會不小心剁到手。昨天又見血了QQ)

剛開始下廚，也不太會抓分量，常常煮太多，就便宜了室友。法國女孩跟加拿大女孩都輕易的被我用亞洲食物收服，香港室友自己也會做，就比較不稀奇啦XD 上周日是加拿大室友Steph的十九歲生日，除了送她穆桂英明信片跟木刻蝴蝶吊飾，我還答應要做糖醋排骨給她吃。我們兩的行事曆卻沒對好，拖到周二晚上才做。(為此我還翹了辯論練習，不過”懶”大概才是主因) 還順便邀了一些朋友，以後不該信口開河，隨便答應要下廚給別人吃，實在太傷本了。(希望這些傢伙知恩圖報，也讓我可以吃點便飯XD)

 
可愛的加拿大室友Stephanie! 第一次吃龍眼，聽我解釋龍眼的中文意思後，就玩了起來XD

昨晚在廚房忙活了兩個小時，煮出了六人份的食物，把大家餵的飽飽的，覺得自己可以嫁人了XDD 但是過程中其實手忙腳亂的，一個閃神，我就切到自己的手指，接著有人來按電鈴。可愛的日本男孩帶了蘋果派準時出現，得到的招呼是 "我切到手指了!” 這種血淋淋的問候，讓他急忙拿了紙巾捏住不斷出血的左手食指。(後來發現連牆上跟地板都有我的慘劇痕跡，可是一點都不痛啊:P)

而且家裡沒有足夠的碗盤，所以客人還要抱著自己的餐盤上門，實在是有夠逗趣。但看著本來不熟識的一群人同坐一桌，大快朵頤，我有種當女主人的快感。希望以後我家可以有很大的木頭餐桌，坐滿各地來的朋友，吃著我做的食物津津有味。(是不是該考慮開餐館或旅社呢?) 好客似乎是台灣人的本性，縱使人在異鄉依舊不改!


[台妹上菜Dine at Tammy’s table]
主菜: 糖醋排骨、杏鮑菇炒鹹蛋
沙拉: 紅酒醋沙拉
湯:   味噌湯
飯後水果: 龍眼
飯後甜點: 蘋果派 (日本男孩Kento帶來的)

得意的用木筷跟漆碗端起味噌湯，正港日本人!!

Life in UBC－－初秋好時節

深深有感於時光飛逝，不寫點東西就什麼都不記得了。
所以決定不顧顏面的來打些流水帳，就當作是給自己做筆記。

2014. 9. 17

       秋意漸濃，陽光漸行漸遠，溫哥華的夏天就要結束了嗎? 天空開始陰沉，飄著小雨，但對於清晨慢跑倒是無妨。說了好久，終於跟Christophe去慢跑了，跑了四十分鐘，速度不快，所以我還支持的住。想我在台大幾乎不跑步的，偶爾去個重訓室或是夜跑而已，但是北美的溫帶氣候讓跑步變得不濕熱，似乎也是一種享受。穿梭在前往教室的人群中，忽然覺得不可思議，我居然可以悠閒的在上課前運動，果真是一日之始在於晨阿! 足夠讓我自我感覺良好一天了~有愛運動的朋友真好:) 又想到昕婕說的，"一棉被之不治，何以天下為?" 應該要寫在床邊的!!

        中午跟兒童文學課的同學討論。跟英語母語人士聊天，還是沒有想像中那麼簡單。雖然我大部分時間都聽得懂，可是要抓對時間切入話題，或是知道笑點在哪，還是有點困難。大部分時候還是只能當微笑的凱蒂貓，偶爾給幾句意見。上課的時候也是，教授一發問就會有人舉手回答，我腦袋都還沒轉過來呢! 希望之後可以在上課時侃侃而談(握拳)

         今天的兩個新發現，一個是教育圖書館，另一個是Morris and Helen Belkin Art Gallery。前者是為了兒童文學的課去借書，否則我也不會特別去找。但一走進去就宛如天堂，各式各樣的童書，連法文的都有，如果我是小朋友，不知道該有多興奮! 或許我真的深受兒童文學影響，每次走到童書區都備感親切，甚至可以看的津津有味。童年才有特權胡思亂想又不必負責任，而我的童年基本上是長在書上的，所以看到童書，彷彿就像看到家一樣。或許之後的漫漫冬日，可以在此消磨一下午。

          至於藝廊，則是為了艾未未的攝影展走進去的。作品都是他旅居紐約時拍的，我這個不懂門道的外行人是覺得沒什麼，一堆黑白照片，但不知道為什麼，有張是"來自台灣學電影的女孩"，那女孩目光明亮，特別動人。還有很多張照片都是在Tompkins Square Park拍的，不知道是因為住附近還是那裏常常有活動，這個公園似乎在九零年代是高犯罪率區域，但今日已經變成安寧的休閒場所了。

           然後有這麼一句話吸引了我，"Our first and last love is self-love. 最初與最後的愛都來自自己。" 不先愛自己，要怎麼愛別人? 然後他人的愛亦不長久，恆常變動、遠去，唯有自己，才是自己最忠實的伴侶。這是多麼清醒的認知！

　　晚餐則又繼續仰賴室友下廚，只有幫忙切切菜，從周五到現在清閒五天，我夠幸福了！輪流下廚，圍坐一桌吃飯，真的有共同生活的感覺，不像以前在台大宿舍只是共用空間的陌生人。